A Full Plate

Torn up; Bent
Heart ripped in half…
The truth is that nothing gold will last.
And if you say “it’s ok”,
To me it’s not.
Because I always finish what I start.
You may think you’re helping
But it’s this is hurting too much…
This is – was – my dream
I have given my best shot.
I can’t make everyone happy
But most of all, me.
All I wanted was to please
Even that wasn’t easy.
The run around is not appreciated
Straight shooter
Please tell me the reason
How can you burn out the sun
(And let live?)
when I was there for the long run?
It was a privilege

I may not be where I want to be, but I am not going back.

April 2013

April 2013

The purpose of my reflection is to progress – develop, learn and ultimately, reach a goal(s). To improve and better myself. The stress and anxiety is still burdened upon me, and I find myself sinking into past (bad) habits. Just as I had previously reconciled – people do not change – we grow older, but we are the same. With this awareness should come correction and improvement, but rather it has showed me what I am good at it and what I actually need to improve upon. My priorities are coming together. It will take time, dedication and patience, but I swear to myself I will get there. The purpose of my life may not be clear at this moment, but I have much to be proud of: an undergraduate degree, a new job, a drug-free lifestyle, a more positive attitude. Yes, there are things I still need to focus on – re-channeling negative and paranoid thoughts, controlling my anxiety, finding motivation. Most of all, I need to learn how to let free and have fun. This is something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. I will get to where I want to be some day, but just like a puzzle, each piece needs to be strategically placed – even if it’s not done in the “correct” order. My list of goals has not gotten shorter, but I can at least say I checked a few items off.

I am so blessed and thankful for all the positivity and support that has been sent my way.

July 2014

July 2014