anyone in this town
knows a far better truth
then once was
is coming to an end;
but to seek wisdom in the unholy,
provides ideals that are too transparent to pull thin.
lies stretched across a bare skull,
bones broken at the sockets,
torn apart by claims
too far fetched to be proven false.

I’m not unfaithful,
I’ve just lost faith.
Time has taken me to a place that seems so familiar,
and I look around, waiting to see someone I know,
but they see right through me
and it’s time to move on…

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Devoted & Dedicated

I haven’t written to you in a while,
but not because I have forgotten,
or found something better to do;
I’m Scared – is the truth and,
I’m useless without a prose in my throat ready to be told.

(A fool to listen, an honest mistake…)

I feel like I haven’t been home in days,
Usually it’s the other way.
Would you know that I’m a loser?
Wouldn’t you know that I am afraid.
Wouldn’t you know that I am lucky to be here in the first place…

Peacefully, it comes so easily for others.
Hardworking, self soothing – I have no idea (where my head is at).
My mind begins to wander, to a place called forever
Where you are and where I’m meant to be.

I figure, you’re busy;
Making a life to call your own.
I’m sorry if I’m a bother
when you’re so far under the covers, fall into a deep sleep.

Shaken by dreams of pure lucidity
but it seemed so realistic to me).
Are you sure you haven’t heard me call your name? I wonder,
Are you a pawn in a means to get my act together?

Oh, silly,
Competitiveness is in my nature
But I would rather be humble
then place a bet I know I would win
And sadly (honestly), it’s embarrassing
to find your significance when you don’t know the first thing about yourself.
Come crawling back to me, as I drift off to sleep.

Devoted. Dedicated. You made me. Who I am.

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At the Center of the Human Body is a Pulse

Arriving at thoughts of why it was you, and not me
We are all the same –
lungs that breathe/eyes that see
skin with pores
a body that sways with a pulse
of eccentricity
dot the “i” and accentuate the “me” – in harmony.

Separated by a hatred apparently only gods can distinguish.
If the universe told you to,
Would it be worth it?
Was it worth it?

Attempts to reek havoc;
An image dare not fathom.
Trying to tear apart
A group that grew closer as a result.
City Strong
But you won’t ever understand what you did wrong.

The number who stand proud
Outweighs the bullets
used to break the hearts of thousands,
by reason none other than a lack of soul
sold to harm…
A story that will never go untold.

At peace to know there is still a chance,
for a World that bands together at stance.
An army, a troop
Who can put aside their roots
To realize that we are all one.

Questions will go unanswered
and forgiveness will go nowhere.
While prayer can tend to some,
In the end we are all one.
The Answer Is Love.


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I May Crave Attention, But You’re All About You

Woe is me – oh please!
If I could tie a noose around everyone who says that,
I would have a dozen ships anchored.

Feel bad for you? Doubt it.
Because the pity act is getting stale,
It’s pathetic.

Conversation? Hardly.
When you’re the star of your own played out catastrophe,
how do the supporting actors get to shine?

The bright side – do you know it?
The grass is always greener, but not at your house.
This life – it’s jumbled.
Hard to believe you feel that bad for yourself
when you seem to have it all together.

Trying? Not quite.
Why does it bother me so much, you ask? (or do you?)
I’ve faced my reality and the darkest shadows;
the ones that haunt (and still creep).
There go the demons you’ve gotten yourself involved with.
Be there for you? Gladly.
Because when one solider falls, there are more to help –
And when he falls into a wallowing pit…
Well, better bring a ladder.
[I’ll take the former]

Don’t act like you know me
without hearing my story
and I won’t judge you
For the absence of heart.

Woe is me – oh please!
Hard to believe you feel that bad for yourself
when you seem to have it all together.

Sympathy is what you beg for…
You should realize it’s empathy you want.

If you think this is about you then it is.

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Cheers to the times that meant something

He looked up and said, “you’re stupid.”
in a playful manner
Understandable by no one.

Choked up, hopes down
Pushing the food around
on my seemingly full plate
clean up alone, clean up my act.
Why can’t you?

“I love you.”
With a period. A statement.
I hear the words, but what are feelings?
What am I supposed to say,
When my mind is elsewhere
Fixated on something else…
focused on someone else.

A shot in the dark
Impossible target
Why is it a thought at all?
My faith is in the future
As far as it may be.

He looked up and said, “…”
He didn’t even look up.

Cheers to the times that mattered, that had an effect


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Half of a Heart

Even if you could see it, you’d hardly believe it –
Tales too wise to tattle.
And all the ramble
gets lost in translation…
Actions speak louder than words,
but when the words have no meaning,
What do you mean?

All that’s true is not told
It’s your soul that has been sold.
When you think you know what’s reality,
confidentiality no longer exists.
The lines begin to blur
Unofficial unclear; unsure.

And the love, it doesn’t mean the same
as it used to be a calling romance.
Right or wrong – it’s only black & white.
When the grays are merely static you never hear.

Don’t listen to your demons,
Damn are they clever.
They are always around –
I can’t wait to get out of this town.

Is something missing? It must be (your) heart.

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A Full Plate

Torn up; Bent
Heart ripped in half…
The truth is that nothing gold will last.
And if you say “it’s ok”,
To me it’s not.
Because I always finish what I start.
You may think you’re helping
But it’s this is hurting too much…
This is – was – my dream
I have given my best shot.
I can’t make everyone happy
But most of all, me.
All I wanted was to please
Even that wasn’t easy.
The run around is not appreciated
Straight shooter
Please tell me the reason
How can you burn out the sun
(And let live?)
when I was there for the long run?
It was a privilege

Unsuited for the Suitable

Pressure to find something there;
Felt beneath the skin..
Muted with a desire to share;
Learned the hard way –
the “good girl” never wins..

Although you have your reasons
I’m a fool for thinking it…
What drastically changed in an instant
has been happening to me all my life.

This may be your best policy,
but it’s my source of sorrow;
Feelings once expressed –
gone tomorrow.

I will take the blame,
yet something is not right…
Unexpectedly expected –
Drained the smile from a face
never truly known in the first place.

(Roll up your sleeves, pretend like it didn’t happen)

Desire does not expire.
Nor is it a light switch.
You can have the heart I’m missing;
(I don’t want it back)

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Things I Wish I Could Say

If you understand,
Why did you turn away?
If you could take it back,
Would things go differently?
And if I said I’m sorry…
Would it mean a thing?
Through all the good –
The bad seemed unnecessary.

All of the pages,
Unwritten at best.
Left torn
To savor the rest;
I only hope you can see my side…
I may have lost you,
But I couldn’t lose my pride.

If you lost the greatest,
Why did I anticipate it?
If you saw the hope,
Why did you choke?
And if I told you how I felt,
Would you listen with stealth?
Through all the pain,
There was something to gain.

Broken and unsure –
My heart is still sore.
Unable to heal;
Full potential is feared.
All I can say is, I miss the day…
The times we actually meant what we would say;

If you understand,
Why did you turn away?
If you could take it back,
Would things go differently?
And if I said I’m sorry…
Would it mean a thing?
Through all the good –
The bad seemed unnecessary.

Do you agree
Or shall we just brawl?
What else matters
If you can’t have it all?
Spoiled or rotten;
Thirst took the shade.
All in all,
It’s about what we made;

Things I wish I could say…
I wish it could have stayed the same.

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