The Only Way to Go is Up (Or to Give Up)

Moving forward is my constant struggle,

I learned I could love again, but there is a lot on my shoulders,

A lot to say, left over

(I am even learning to pray)

I wish you the best and I hope you are okay…

The Only Way to Go is Up (Or to Give Up)

Please put the bottle(s) down,

You are such a nervous wreck.

Knuckles so dry, they could cut ice on the break;

(On edge),

All I had, all I could do

Once upon the time, I knew you.

 

Every day is deemed a struggle, when you find yourself so far under.

(Considering) the well won’t hit rock bottom

Well, it’s rock solid.

The gravel falls with the travels you call nervous breakdowns;

I never meant to play you, but it was over before it even started.

 

Not enough in common to feel the voices calling,

And now, that I have found the one

You act like you have none…

Maybe you are better off without me,

(Always seemed to be).

We both have a lot of problems,

(Obviously).

Still, I root for you to get better

(the stormy weather is near).

Silver linings will never provide us with the comfort we wanted to endear.

For, inside, instilled thoughts of fear recover,

In the hands of another who is fairly similar.

 

All that had broken out was ugly,

A side I launched aside, but I was not treated right.

The guilt floods my brain, my mind

Forgiveness is in vain (in my name),

but resentment is an easier price to pay

(it just did not feel right).

 

I am in search – rediscovery of the part of me

(The one which you stole)

To treat another in the way you truly want to be.

You fed me, made me this way,

I do not blame you (though),

For you opened my eyes to see,

I was a fool to selfishness.

I tried;

I wished the glass wouldn’t shatter,

But in the end,

I need more than you can fathom.

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My Heart is in it For the Killing

My Heart is in it For the Killing

You,

You are always in my prayers

(and in my thoughts);

I hope to God we do not get caught

Up in a tantrum.

I find myself attached,

like a ladle to your handle;

Scoop me up with your soft hands.

Time and time again

I remind myself every story has to end…

This though, please be gentle.

A knotted ball of yarn – impossible to singly untangle.

(The words I speak, no dissection necessary – the cost is pure evil.)

For you, love,

You are my song bird.

A muse that amuses me.

Do not let me be…

I would hope you will catch up

and chase after me.

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Lemniscate

Spiteful promises

Leave

Dishonesty,

Truth behind masks of serenity.

Honestly,

I did not plan to be;

Corrupted, interrupted by my own worst enemy

(and interpreted wrongly).

Pledges to purity

Won’t save goodness instilled beneath.

Let the spirit soar;

Run free,

Please, do not run away from me.

Begs to be certain, for sure;

Positivity…

Let nature take its course

(and choose wisely);

Making up for lost time,

Times infinity.

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Ashes From Ashes

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Homicidal thoughts, you’ve been staying for too long,

(a while)

While the devil him/her/itself sends me adrift.

Parting tides,

Partaking sides.

Never meant to be thrown off a cliff,

(so dangerous)

But the sides of the mountain

Stay steadily rocking,

Destined to move in the slightest bit.

Why am I holding onto something that is so easy to throw away in an ashtray?

Latent with a film only found in a chain smoker’s throat,

And a cough that seeds a disease

Worth fighting through.

(Pleasantly),

My mind takes to absence and gears towards flight,

While the guardian angels protect me at night.

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Take Heart

Why care so much?

Trust and honesty should be enough.

With pleasantries of sharing,

Deeply embedded are

Malfunctioning computers;

Cut wires strung together.

Playing tricks of a card.

Up sleeves lies a magician’s baton.

Dropped blanket’s warm covered cloth.

Hidden irregularities, maladapted betroth.

House guests a part,

Whispering remedies from the start;

Poetic pleasantries will only take so far,

Within the meters lies a fairytale heart.

Alleys – no outlets – prove to be cold and dark,

Proceed with caution – rightfully wrong.

Upset, distressed, losing my head…

Tones of the heart,

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Unfriendly Strangers

When demons spark;

True colors show,

When least expected.

The woes,

And a childish pose,

Put onto others

Cannot make one stronger.

Brings out the bitter,

Surrounding clouds of hatred.

Negative sounds;

Attempts to shut others up.

“Pull us down – we are not worthy”

You want us to cry out.

To blend into a wall;

To go by unnoticed amongst it all,

Stands without reason…

You will fall.

Burdens pursuits – heading down dark paths,

Unbearable partnership groups.

Standing up for oneself

is not the same as defending yourself

with sharp knives

and accusations;

Wallowing pity.

Here is the unshakeable proof,

Corrupted and spiteful immature youth.

Never real or true.

Friends once,

but maybe never.

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