Searching

Point me in the right direction
because I’m lost in time and space.
I gave you all that you said you wanted,
yet I can’t find my place.
And sure, I’ll give it another go,
because I don’t think I know any better,
but when I find what I’ve been looking for
you better believe I won’t be missing you either.

Speak clearly darling,
there’s static in the airwaves.
There’s life you’re losing out on behind the noise of your screen.
Is there cotton in your ears?
Or are you just not listening?
There’s hardships in strive,
but that’s not what I’d call this here.

You’re lucky to feel so contempt in an obnoxious pattern of mishaps.
I can’t seem to find my way around.
The past is not your present, but what can I even count on?
I can’t see into the future, I don’t have a crystal ball.
But when I find what I’m looking for,
I’ll feel like I have it all.

Love is meant to be broken.
how else will we learn,
that the beauty in breakdown
is meant to be heard?
I can’t silence my voice as it’s clear.
I don’t know who myself is with you near.

Take another go at it,
there’s no way we can repeat the same mistake twice.
What do you do when you just don’t feel alright?
And it’s sad to say it, but I can’t say I miss you too.
Because I’ve found what I’ve been looking for…
and it’s not you.

all rights reserved. ©

Unpopular

anyone in this town
knows a far better truth
then once was
is coming to an end;
but to seek wisdom in the unholy,
provides ideals that are too transparent to pull thin.
lies stretched across a bare skull,
bones broken at the sockets,
torn apart by claims
too far fetched to be proven false.

I’m not unfaithful,
I’ve just lost faith.
Time has taken me to a place that seems so familiar,
and I look around, waiting to see someone I know,
but they see right through me
and it’s time to move on…

all rights reserved. ©

Half Past Too Late

Not many things give me butterflies,
but You, You do.
tumbling…
my heart is in my throat.
impatient waiting
to explode.;
You drive me insane with the choices that you’ve made
You could have been my better half,
but what’s left?
Uncertainty, at best.

all rights reserved. ©

Love to Love

Falling in love yet again, another day
Times are changing, as they say
Something special about a decade left unwritten
Ties are loosened, locks unhinged
On my mind and not his.
Hopeless, indeed
But now, it’s different,
Splitting image of that which was forgiven
Partial to the parts of you which go untouched
I want to know too much, I don’t know enough
Desire can be a cruel entity (I’m begging for clarity)
Weaving in traffic with rain and cloudy skies
That dark hair, those brown colored eyes
It’s been so long to feel the song of a muse
What was left started humming a violent tune
Fate or merely fortune drafted to open
Painting arbitrary pictures with bright hues
I’ll listen, I won’t miss this (take a) chance

There’s softness in the features of your face as it’s turned away from me.

 

all rights reserved. ©

Be Still, It’s My Heart Too

My mind moves fast, it’s an enigma of sorts.
And I don’t care what people think,
but I care about my appeal.
How can I forgive myself when I’ve been through Hell?
And if there’s a god who cares about how I feel…
I hope they are on my side,
so to let the demons take a smoke break.

The chanting, the laughter…you’re no better.
How can I improve when there’s so much misfortune in your accented attitude?
How can I grow if my roots are stuck in soil without water?
I’m dangerously close to saying what I said I wouldn’t.

Heartbroken for feeling like I don’t fit in.
Growing up, I have always stood out,
what’s more in style doesn’t correspond with who I am.
(better jump ship before this keeps happening)

Run away from fears…maybe it’s exactly that which keeps me around.
Going around in circles, I promise you that I am loyal.
If this is the only way my heartstrings can be heard,
then I’ll write a fucking orchestra and conduct it myself.
Because no one will pull me back into the dark state I once knew,
(locked in a closed bedroom with the devil himself begging me on)
Because no one will change your life for you.

all rights reserved. ©

You Say “Sorry” Like It’s Going Out Of Style

Such a sad sorrow,
to wander alone all over
Pity falls into the hands
of those who mistake a listening ear for empathy
Most deny this and create a void to shadow –
the regret they feel for themselves
And the words they wish they had spoken
before choking on a hate to which they use to spell their morals

Judgement is alive
with desire to divide
You’re not a martyr, don’t do me any favors…
I wish I could tell you the truth,
But it will never be enough.

It’s a constant ache in the temples –
deep breaths to save the soul
But what do you do when you’ve grown too old?
(a low pulse with a beat you just can’t revive)

Despite is a life
with desire to divide
You’re not a martyr, don’t do me any more favors…
I wish I could do more to prove,
But I will never be as good as you.

Who would want to live like this?
Having become too cold…
A repetitive story that has already been told
You’ve heard it before.
What is different is the lies scrolled
in between the lines you wrote
and then erased because it was all just too sad –
(making up for what we once were, and what we always forgot we had)

 

all rights reserved. ©

I May Crave Attention, But You’re All About You

Woe is me – oh please!
If I could tie a noose around everyone who says that,
I would have a dozen ships anchored.

Feel bad for you? Doubt it.
Because the pity act is getting stale,
It’s pathetic.

Conversation? Hardly.
When you’re the star of your own played out catastrophe,
how do the supporting actors get to shine?

The bright side – do you know it?
The grass is always greener, but not at your house.
This life – it’s jumbled.
Hard to believe you feel that bad for yourself
when you seem to have it all together.

Trying? Not quite.
Why does it bother me so much, you ask? (or do you?)
I’ve faced my reality and the darkest shadows;
the ones that haunt (and still creep).
There go the demons you’ve gotten yourself involved with.
Be there for you? Gladly.
Because when one solider falls, there are more to help –
And when he falls into a wallowing pit…
Well, better bring a ladder.
[I’ll take the former]

Don’t act like you know me
without hearing my story
and I won’t judge you
For the absence of heart.

Woe is me – oh please!
Hard to believe you feel that bad for yourself
when you seem to have it all together.

Sympathy is what you beg for…
You should realize it’s empathy you want.

If you think this is about you then it is.

all rights reserved. ©

Cheers to the times that meant something

He looked up and said, “you’re stupid.”
in a playful manner
Understandable by no one.

Choked up, hopes down
Pushing the food around
on my seemingly full plate
clean up alone, clean up my act.
Why can’t you?

“I love you.”
With a period. A statement.
I hear the words, but what are feelings?
What am I supposed to say,
When my mind is elsewhere
Fixated on something else…
focused on someone else.

A shot in the dark
Impossible target
Why is it a thought at all?
My faith is in the future
As far as it may be.

He looked up and said, “…”
Nothing.
He didn’t even look up.

Cheers to the times that mattered, that had an effect

Iwishwecouldgoback.

all rights reserved. ©

Half of a Heart

Even if you could see it, you’d hardly believe it –
Tales too wise to tattle.
And all the ramble
gets lost in translation…
Actions speak louder than words,
but when the words have no meaning,
What do you mean?

All that’s true is not told
It’s your soul that has been sold.
When you think you know what’s reality,
confidentiality no longer exists.
The lines begin to blur
Unofficial unclear; unsure.

And the love, it doesn’t mean the same
as it used to be a calling romance.
Right or wrong – it’s only black & white.
When the grays are merely static you never hear.

Don’t listen to your demons,
Damn are they clever.
They are always around –
I can’t wait to get out of this town.

Is something missing? It must be (your) heart.

all rights reserved. ©