Vacancy

Dear Loneliness,
We’ve met so many times before.
What’s mine is yours, and you can have it all.

Hey there, Angel.
I haven’t seen you around lately,
maybe it’s because I’m too scared to admit
that I’ve made plenty of mistakes.
But Lord, if you can hear me, I’m sorry.
Life has this funny way of working itself out,
or not at all.

Good Morning, Sunshine.
It’s hard to sleep when you’re shining in my eyes.
And I just want to roll over and go back to sleep until tonight.
Why should I make something of this life, when you’re better off crumbling with the walls surrounding you.
Know I’m too far gone, past lethal, I’d rather sing the song of a mistaken muse.

Pleasantries, Stranger.
I see your shadows in my dreams.
Oddly, you’re getting closer to me,
And I can’t see my breath anymore.

Again, loneliness…
I could be in a room filled with people, but all eyes are on you.
If I take one step, one foot in front of the other, I may just fall.
What’s more satisfactory; an alternative – I would rather give it my best,
swallow my pride and reflect courage.
I’ve changed my mind.
What’s mine is still yours,
But what are you going to do with all of it?

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Half Past Too Late

Not many things give me butterflies,
but You, You do.
tumbling…
my heart is in my throat.
impatient waiting
to explode.;
You drive me insane with the choices that you’ve made
You could have been my better half,
but what’s left?
Uncertainty, at best.

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Candidly

I feel like we’ve met before.
In the face of familiarity;
One laugh was all it took.
I’ve fallen in love before,
but this time it’s different.
I feel like I am home.

Until next time, keep my heart safe.
We live in two separate worlds,
overlapping in a sense of disparity.
I told you, it’s a feeling of familiarity.

I think about you all of the time.
I don’t know you, but I’d like to.
A tape playing over and over again;
I’d kill to see those eyes shine.
Hard to go unnoticed
(do you notice me?)
We haven’t even spoken,
but it’s a feeling of familiarity.

Have we met once before? I’m sure I am just mistaken.
I’ve taken a liking to your welcoming smile
and your desire to entertain the world.
Am I a fool to think it meant anything?

This may be just a fling,
Better you then I just want to tear you apart.
A stage show that has never been seen before
Where I call you mine,
And I’m all yours.;

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Missed Connection

So calm and collected
He read a mysterious book and
his bookmark said “read and return“.
With a wool baseball cap
(I never saw what was written on it)
He sat there with one leg crossed over the other
high top blue Converse unlaced at the tongue.
Among the hustle and bustle of the airport
traffic
He stayed still.
Never did he look over.
But…maybe…out of the corner of his eye,
I found inspiration.
That may have been all it ever will be;
How I wished I asked him what He was reading
his 5 o’clock shadow]
My voice? I was brought to my knees.
I hope you got to where you were going safely,
because I keep thinking about thee.

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Love to Love

Falling in love yet again, another day
Times are changing, as they say
Something special about a decade left unwritten
Ties are loosened, locks unhinged
On my mind and not his.
Hopeless, indeed
But now, it’s different,
Splitting image of that which was forgiven
Partial to the parts of you which go untouched
I want to know too much, I don’t know enough
Desire can be a cruel entity (I’m begging for clarity)
Weaving in traffic with rain and cloudy skies
That dark hair, those brown colored eyes
It’s been so long to feel the song of a muse
What was left started humming a violent tune
Fate or merely fortune drafted to open
Painting arbitrary pictures with bright hues
I’ll listen, I won’t miss this (take a) chance

There’s softness in the features of your face as it’s turned away from me.

 

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Devoted & Dedicated

Hello,
I haven’t written to you in a while,
but not because I have forgotten,
or found something better to do;
I’m Scared – is the truth and,
I’m useless without a prose in my throat ready to be told.

(A fool to listen, an honest mistake…)

I feel like I haven’t been home in days,
Usually it’s the other way.
Would you know that I’m a loser?
Wouldn’t you know that I am afraid.
Wouldn’t you know that I am lucky to be here in the first place…

Peacefully, it comes so easily for others.
Hardworking, self soothing – I have no idea (where my head is at).
My mind begins to wander, to a place called forever
Where you are and where I’m meant to be.

I figure, you’re busy;
Making a life to call your own.
I’m sorry if I’m a bother
when you’re so far under the covers, fall into a deep sleep.

Shaken by dreams of pure lucidity
but it seemed so realistic to me).
Are you sure you haven’t heard me call your name? I wonder,
Are you a pawn in a means to get my act together?

Oh, silly,
Competitiveness is in my nature
But I would rather be humble
then place a bet I know I would win
And sadly (honestly), it’s embarrassing
to find your significance when you don’t know the first thing about yourself.
Come crawling back to me, as I drift off to sleep.

Devoted. Dedicated. You made me. Who I am.

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Deja Vu (or this has happened before)

Don’t worry! Ignoring me is probably for the better.
My intuition mostly never steers me wrong.
And with a demeanor like that, you’re never in the right.
Is it just to say “I’m sorry”? For whatever one should be sorry for.
Empathy is good company, only when your mind is sane.
Hell, the lost ones are crazy, but they get there fast.
Can I join along for the ride?

 

 

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Be Still, It’s My Heart Too

My mind moves fast, it’s an enigma of sorts.
And I don’t care what people think,
but I care about my appeal.
How can I forgive myself when I’ve been through Hell?
And if there’s a god who cares about how I feel…
I hope they are on my side,
so to let the demons take a smoke break.

The chanting, the laughter…you’re no better.
How can I improve when there’s so much misfortune in your accented attitude?
How can I grow if my roots are stuck in soil without water?
I’m dangerously close to saying what I said I wouldn’t.

Heartbroken for feeling like I don’t fit in.
Growing up, I have always stood out,
what’s more in style doesn’t correspond with who I am.
(better jump ship before this keeps happening)

Run away from fears…maybe it’s exactly that which keeps me around.
Going around in circles, I promise you that I am loyal.
If this is the only way my heartstrings can be heard,
then I’ll write a fucking orchestra and conduct it myself.
Because no one will pull me back into the dark state I once knew,
(locked in a closed bedroom with the devil himself begging me on)
Because no one will change your life for you.

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Cheers to the times that meant something

He looked up and said, “you’re stupid.”
in a playful manner
Understandable by no one.

Choked up, hopes down
Pushing the food around
on my seemingly full plate
clean up alone, clean up my act.
Why can’t you?

“I love you.”
With a period. A statement.
I hear the words, but what are feelings?
What am I supposed to say,
When my mind is elsewhere
Fixated on something else…
focused on someone else.

A shot in the dark
Impossible target
Why is it a thought at all?
My faith is in the future
As far as it may be.

He looked up and said, “…”
Nothing.
He didn’t even look up.

Cheers to the times that mattered, that had an effect

Iwishwecouldgoback.

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Half of a Heart

Even if you could see it, you’d hardly believe it –
Tales too wise to tattle.
And all the ramble
gets lost in translation…
Actions speak louder than words,
but when the words have no meaning,
What do you mean?

All that’s true is not told
It’s your soul that has been sold.
When you think you know what’s reality,
confidentiality no longer exists.
The lines begin to blur
Unofficial unclear; unsure.

And the love, it doesn’t mean the same
as it used to be a calling romance.
Right or wrong – it’s only black & white.
When the grays are merely static you never hear.

Don’t listen to your demons,
Damn are they clever.
They are always around –
I can’t wait to get out of this town.

Is something missing? It must be (your) heart.

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