Please grab a drink with me

Heart,
I cannot stop you from beating,
but this will only hurt a little.
To be a fly on your wall
(just one glance)
is enough to break me
into a million little pieces.
Oh, how I wish you were mine.
A taste for class that I respect immensely,
a strong jaw line and features
that I dream about outlining with my finger tips
Bring your face close
for just one kiss;
a snicker and a side smile
my stomach jumps into my throat
I choke on my own words
Stumbling
Upon
Sentences
that make no sense.
Cover my eyes, can you see right through me?
My attempts at commonality,
just to talk to you,
At best, you’ll see my willingness…
At worst, it’s too much.
(Chalk it up to embarrassment)
But for you, darling,
It is never enough.
I just can’t stay away
and honestly, I don’t think I want to any longer.

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Searching

Point me in the right direction
because I’m lost in time and space.
I gave you all that you said you wanted,
yet I can’t find my place.
And sure, I’ll give it another go,
because I don’t think I know any better,
but when I find what I’ve been looking for
you better believe I won’t be missing you either.

Speak clearly darling,
there’s static in the airwaves.
There’s life you’re losing out on behind the noise of your screen.
Is there cotton in your ears?
Or are you just not listening?
There’s hardships in strive,
but that’s not what I’d call this here.

You’re lucky to feel so contempt in an obnoxious pattern of mishaps.
I can’t seem to find my way around.
The past is not your present, but what can I even count on?
I can’t see into the future, I don’t have a crystal ball.
But when I find what I’m looking for,
I’ll feel like I have it all.

Love is meant to be broken.
how else will we learn,
that the beauty in breakdown
is meant to be heard?
I can’t silence my voice as it’s clear.
I don’t know who myself is with you near.

Take another go at it,
there’s no way we can repeat the same mistake twice.
What do you do when you just don’t feel alright?
And it’s sad to say it, but I can’t say I miss you too.
Because I’ve found what I’ve been looking for…
and it’s not you.

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Unpopular

anyone in this town
knows a far better truth
then once was
is coming to an end;
but to seek wisdom in the unholy,
provides ideals that are too transparent to pull thin.
lies stretched across a bare skull,
bones broken at the sockets,
torn apart by claims
too far fetched to be proven false.

I’m not unfaithful,
I’ve just lost faith.
Time has taken me to a place that seems so familiar,
and I look around, waiting to see someone I know,
but they see right through me
and it’s time to move on…

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Your Presence

Looking for love in all the wrong places,
Cornering myself into dark spaces.
The smell of cigarettes lingers, I can almost taste it;
Reminds me that you are still around…
Watch over me, like an angel,
sometimes I need a push in the right direction.
I have confused the expectations
that I hold for myself
with second guessings,
that I should have never listened to.
Honestly, I believe in modesty,
but humility will not get you very far.
Chains locked, holding onto the breath that forces you to feel choked up.
Frankly, it is irritating
How I will never be good enough…
Malicious suspicion, I’ll continue to witness mischief
But I will not be a part of it…

Cheers to a life once lonely

I’ve fallen in love with my dream man.
Twirling in circles; my hand on the small of his back.
On top of the world, he told me he’d always take care of me,
and he commissioned a portrait in my honor
that I wasn’t supposed to know about.
Dressed in black, him in a tux
We danced, my head lay on his shoulder.
I felt, I knew, I found my forever…
now where are you?

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Half Past Too Late

Not many things give me butterflies,
but You, You do.
tumbling…
my heart is in my throat.
impatient waiting
to explode.;
You drive me insane with the choices that you’ve made
You could have been my better half,
but what’s left?
Uncertainty, at best.

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4 A.M.

We used to rap together, laugh together,
but times were changing…you started misbehaving.
Like I never heard from you at all, a fatal flaw.

There’s still room in my heart for you,
but I wish you grew up, it was all too soon (and not soon enough),
and sudden,
In my mind, I can’t comprehend what happened.

You always told me to write down my rhymes,
for better or for worse,
a blessing or a curse;
You blew my mind.
You stopped doing the thing you told me meant the most to you,
guess I wasn’t on that Christmas list, so I had to let you loose.

Bringing back memories of extraordinary dates where we’d recline in your backyard,
when we’d go for joy rides but we never went too far.
We’d lay in your bed, my head in your lap, and we’d nap until 4 a.m.
You used to say I was the one that got away.

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Candidly

I feel like we’ve met before.
In the face of familiarity;
One laugh was all it took.
I’ve fallen in love before,
but this time it’s different.
I feel like I am home.

Until next time, keep my heart safe.
We live in two separate worlds,
overlapping in a sense of disparity.
I told you, it’s a feeling of familiarity.

I think about you all of the time.
I don’t know you, but I’d like to.
A tape playing over and over again;
I’d kill to see those eyes shine.
Hard to go unnoticed
(do you notice me?)
We haven’t even spoken,
but it’s a feeling of familiarity.

Have we met once before? I’m sure I am just mistaken.
I’ve taken a liking to your welcoming smile
and your desire to entertain the world.
Am I a fool to think it meant anything?

This may be just a fling,
Better you then I just want to tear you apart.
A stage show that has never been seen before
Where I call you mine,
And I’m all yours.;

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Missed Connection

So calm and collected
He read a mysterious book and
his bookmark said “read and return“.
With a wool baseball cap
(I never saw what was written on it)
He sat there with one leg crossed over the other
high top blue Converse unlaced at the tongue.
Among the hustle and bustle of the airport
traffic
He stayed still.
Never did he look over.
But…maybe…out of the corner of his eye,
I found inspiration.
That may have been all it ever will be;
How I wished I asked him what He was reading
his 5 o’clock shadow]
My voice? I was brought to my knees.
I hope you got to where you were going safely,
because I keep thinking about thee.

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You Were in My Dream Last Night

Your love is like a rose:
The redder it gets, the older it is (deep crimson)
Whispering wits and tales of tomorrow’s end…

I dream about you, it makes me nervous.
A feeling that has never crossed my mind,
an itch that is hard to find
Will you be mine?

A draft draws me back in.
You could feed me to the fishes, I would not care;
a floating carcass encased in nature, bound by the beauty – it is cyclical
(as long as you were there)
Stop being so cynical!

Does this make sense to you? A fool’s heart is certain,
perched upon an open desert made of less than desire.
Why shall I bother?
Because, I know there is something there, more than you care to know.

Acceptance comes after realization.
A bittersweet sorrow you may not rightly fathom,
Because your eyes cannot open to the possibility of intention (they are all good, I swear)
To beckon upon your misery would be unjust of me;

All I want is to open your heart;
Peel back your petals, cup you in my hands
Show you a sweeter side that you deserve to get used to.

Will you let the rain drops give you life again?
Or wither away into soft nothings, brought to you by tragedy?
Do not dwell in the past, let us live for now.

Signed,
A prayer on one knee in the future (the key)
Hold onto thee.

 

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